Thinking and wondering

I'm sitting at the kitchen table thinking about our past week. It has been a pretty rough one. David's oldest sister passed away and her funeral was Tuesday. She had cancer for a few years and finally couldn't fight it anymore. It breaks my heart to see David and his family so sad. I can't imagine what it is like to lose a sister or child. I watched as David's dad stood and looked in the coffin and cried and my heart melted. He is the kind of man that try's to rush through the bad so hecan get back to everyday stuff. David, is just quiet. Even more so than usual.
Kay's funeral was at the church where we used to go and that was hard also. I miss the people that I have loved all of my life from there. I had gone to church there for over 30 years and it feels like a part of me is gone now. But, I want my life to be about God and not a church so that is getting easier.

I've also been wondering what my kids are going to be like when they grow up. I see glimpses of what I hope will be their adult selves. They are such caring kids (except when it comes to each other, of course, LOL). They don't want to hurt peoples feelings. I have never heard them call another kid a name or made fun of anyone. Griffin has such a big heart. He doesn't like to be around kids who are mean or that act out. It's funny because there are a few kids who he doesn't want to hang around with because they talk about other kids or are just mean. I pray that he doesn't change so he can fit in. I know it isn't the norm to be sensitive in this day and age. I hear kids saying things that it is obvious that they aren't even thinking. I was around some pre-teen boys the other night and I heard several who called each other names and it was just so non-nonchalant. I don't think any of the kids even paid attention to it. It was sad. I know that my kids aren't perfect, not even close. But, they do notice if others are saying things that are not kind. I have heard them take up for someone when they were being made fun of. I have also seen them walk away when this was happening. It makes my heart smile to know that they are trying to be like Jesus.

We try to teach them daily by our actions that it is not okay to hurt others in any way. Not with words nor actions. David and I used to tell Griffin that if someone hit him to ask them not to do it again. If they hit him again, "knock them down". It isn't that I want him to be that way. I just don't want my kids taken advantage of or walked on. Griffin has never hit anyone back. (Again, except for Bella) He has said more than once that he wants to be like Jesus and he wouldn't hit someone. Man, he puts me in my place sometimes.

Tonight as I sit at my table, I pray that my kids don't conform to what the majority of kids around us think is acceptable. I pray that they don't give in to the "normal" of today. I want them to continue to be different and to know that it's okay.

Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Another Bible verse that comes to mind when I pray for my children is John 15:18. I love the Message Bible translation:

"If you find the godless world hating you, remember it got it's start hating me".

So I keep praying that they will not change so they can have friends or just to have people like them. It's hard to remember that we are to be in this world, but not of it. It's hard for me and I know it's even harder for my kids.

I pray that David and I are good examples for our children. I make mistakes. So many of them. Daily. But, I want my kids to see me trying harder every day to be the woman God planned for me.

i sincerely want everyone, not just my children, to see more of Jesus and less of me.