Praying . . . .

I bought the book Power of a praying wife this weekend. 

(I have to admit I bought the Power of a Praying husband too.  I figure it can't hurt to have it laying around, right?)

I started reading mine yesterday and it is so good.  I have always prayed for David. 

You know.  "God, please make him change so I don't get so mad. "

"God, if only you would make him understand me better."
"God, if only he loved me as much as I love him, . . . . "

Yada, yada, yada. 

I have realized for quite awhile that I can't change my husband.  Only God can. 
Don't get me wrong.  David is an amazing man.  A wonderful daddy.  And a great husband. 

There are just times when he just doesn't get it.   I am definitely fueled by words of affirmation and touching.  I love to hold his hand.  I love when he just puts his hand on mine in the car.   The bad thing is that this is not what "does it" for him.   It makes it really hard.    When he doesn't do these things, it wrongly makes me think he doesn't love me.  Or, he is mad at me. 

I now realize that when praying, I need to pray for David's wife before I ever start praying for him.   What a revelation.  Change needs to come from inside me first. 

My attitude needs changed.
My outlook needs changed.
My relationship with God needs work.   A lot of it. 

So, now instead of praying for David to change so I can be my happiest I am now praying for me to change. 

I'm still doing the Love Dare.  I'm ashamed to say what day I'm on.  But I am working on it. 

Dear God,
Please allow me to be the helpmate you desire for my husband.  Show me how I can help him be the man you wish for him to be.  I pray that his job doesn't get in the way of our family.  I pray for him to stand up for what he believes in and not let anyone get in the way of what God wants for him and our family.   Please let me not be jealous, angry, hurt, or disappointed when things don't go my way.  Allow me to be a wife that he can love and be proud of.   Thank you for the man you gave me as my husband.  I love him deeply.  But, even as much as I love him, I know it doesn't compare to how much you love him.  Keep him safe.    In Jesus Name.