Situations that are out of my control. I hate them.
People that don’t do what I would like. AHHHH.
I try to hide what I’m feeling. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m sad, hurt, angry. Unfortunately that makes me feel worse. I want everyone to believe that I have it all together. Guess what? I don’t. Not even close.
I have thought for more than half of my life that things were going good. God promises good things, right? Nope. He doesn’t promise that at all. He promises to be with us through all things, good and bad. I’ve had good times. God was there. I know now that I didn’t appreciate the good times like I should have.
I now know what bad times are. Oh, not really bad times. My children are healthy. I’m fairly healthy. I haven’t lost anyone close to me through death. I am blessed. Truly.
I see things every day that remind me how blessed I am. God has given me so much more than I deserve. His Grace is sufficient to get me through. This week, a 9 year old boy in our community was accidentally shot and later died. I pray for that family. You see, I may have problems, but I have my children. They are laying in their beds right now and I can give them a hug and kiss them goodnight. I am blessed.
Even though it seems like my heart just may break in two, I know that it won’t. I will not let Satan win the war. He may win this present battle. It isn’t my choice so I can’t say what the outcome will be. But I will not let him win the war in my life.
What people think about me does not define me.
God defines me. I want to shine so bright for Jesus that there is no doubt about that.
Philippians 4:13 says,
I can do all things through him who gives me strength.
That gives me comfort. It gives me hope.
It gives me peace because God gives me grace. I CAN do all things through Christ. I am not perfect. I’m not even close.
But I am God’s perfect masterpiece. And so are you.
So, when I’m angry I turn to God. His Word calms me and gives me hope. He loves me right where I am, angry or not. What an amazing gift!
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3 comments:
"God's perfect masterpiece" Amen! Praying for you through this.
I don't presume to know the depth of your pain, but my heart breaks for you. We're praying for you and believing in God's future for you. As I read your words, I thought back to about a year and a half ago, when a boy I loved like a son died in a car wreck. Things had just seemed to be coming together in the way I thought they should and, then life took a terrible turn. But God had a plan then, as He does now. I wanted to share the blog I wrote just a few days after Chris' death in the hopes that it might help you today... http://adamjonesblog.com/2011/10/03/a-reason-to-get-up-tomorrow/
Sweet Lori. I am so thankful for the way that you are allowing God to shine through you in this situation. I am proud of who you are and for the faithfulness and grace that you exhibit DAILY. You are beautiful.
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